Live, Near
by CrazyClumsyCoco15
Summary: After Kira's defeat, Near sets his bottled up emotions free. Deciding that his mission in this life is finished, he is about to make a terrible mistake. the unexpected happens and things don't go as planned...


**After Kira's defeat, Near sets his bottled up emotions free. Deciding that his mission in this life is finished, he is about to make a terrible mistake. The unexpected happens.**

**No pairings.**

**Please give this story a shot; I worked REALLY hard on it.**

…..

It was a strange feeling, defeating the world's most demonic mass murderer.

After the loss of thousands of beloved souls, he was finally gone, never to terrorize innocent people again.

The white haired man in his late teenage years walked silently into his bedroom and he sat on the cold floor, still in a daze.

During his final showdown with Kira, he looked composed and confident, but deep inside; he was terrified of letting them down. He had sworn to himself he wouldn't let them die in vain and when he won against their heartless murderer, he expected some kind of relief or happiness to wash over him, but nothing happened except that his feelings resurfaced, and only memories of them filled his brilliant mind.

His eyes fluttered closed and he felt moisture trail down his pale cheeks. It had been fifteen years since he shed a tear over something. It was such an unfamiliar feeling to him.

A strangled noise halfway between a sigh and a sob escaped his trembling lips, he curled up into himself, holding his knees close to his chest, making him smaller and more fragile-looking than he already was, and he started to rock himself back and forth.

He had never let himself become emotional, never let his feelings get in the way, he had the perfect mask, never acting according to what his heart told him. To Near, a heart was just an organ that pumped blood into the veins of humans and animals to keep them alive and moving.

But he knew he was wrong. His heart was beating and yet he felt dead inside.

And for the first time since his parents' death, he let his guard down and allowed himself to cry.

Teardrops fell on the toy robot that was sitting in front of him on the floor. It was the first gift he had ever received, and the one he held dearest.

"_But….L, how did you know I wanted that gift?" asked a wide-eyed, three year old Near. "I asked Santa for it!" he paused and gasped "Are you Santa?"_

_The ebony-haired teenager kneeled in front of the innocent, yet genius child and smiled tenderly. "No, Nate, I'm not Santa, he just told me to give it to you because he couldn't deliver the gifts here"_

_The child looked confused for a moment "But why couldn't he?" he asked, hugging the brand new toy robot close to his chest._

_L chuckled and ruffled his soft, white hair "Because Wammy's house doesn't have a chimney, and he had no time to think of another way to deliver the gifts, so he asked me to help him"_

_The little boy's mouth formed into a small "o" as he nodded in understanding._

_L put his hands under Near's arms and carried him effortlessly._

"_Let's go have some Christmas cake, shall we?"_

_The toddler nodded excitedly, flashing L a rare enthusiastic grin that was saved just for him._

The day L died, he just sat in his bedroom, clinging to his gift and staring into nothingness and without any warning, its arm fell of, broken.

He ran out with the speed of lightning to get glue and tried to fix it, the arm was intact again, but it was never the same as before.

He opened his mouth to inhale with effort. Even for him, the pain was too much to handle.

His breaths became shaky and urgent, his face twisted in agony and his sobs turned into heart-wrenching wails, his whole body trembled with sorrow.

He had never let his emotions get out of control, yet it helped him relieve the pain that he kept buried within him all this time.

_His mentor and his brothers were forever gone._

He raised his head up, sniffing slightly and he stopped crying as fast as he started.

_My mission here is finished._

He stood up and picked up the robot, he fiddled with it before the fingers he had wrapped around it loosened and he dropped it to the floor with a crash, scattering all its parts in numerous directions.

_The world doesn't need a fake L._

He gazed at his room one last time and shut the door quietly behind him, walking for a few minutes and stopping when he reached a half closed door. He stood behind it and peeked inside; he could see the members of the task force, along with Gevanni, Lidner, and Rester chatting idly and resting after the exhausting, but victorious day. A small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

_You will go on after me; I have put my faith and trust in you._

He walked away and climbed up the stairs leading to the rooftop of the building, and when he reached his destination, he looked down at the road. There still were fights, accidents and crimes, but the world was finally in relative peace. He was proud of everyone who worked hard and sacrificed themselves to bring Kira down.

Staring at the ground hundreds of meters down, he stretched his arms to greet death.

He couldn't help but sense a presence beside him, his eyes flickered slowly to his right side.

"NO!" a male voice roared.

_Gevanni_

"Please, Near, you can't do this," he pleaded.

"How?" was his simple question.

"I sensed your presence a few minutes ago and followed you" he explained quietly. "Near, this is not what L would do, think before you act,"

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Gevanni, I'm not L," he said harshly, whipping his head around to face the man he once called a friend.

"Yes, you are, you are the one who brought Kira down," Gevanni said fiercely.

"Anyone could bring Kira down with the help I was provided. It was L and Mello who did everything, they died for the case and I just took the credit for all their effort," he growled, his chest moving heavily. "I don't deserve any of this. If I was any worthy of the title "L" then I should have died going after that murderer, not have everything coming at my own feet" he shouted. "Please go now," he said while gasping in a large amount of air.

Gevanni stood stubbornly with his feet rooted to the ground.

"Go," Near said calmly.

"Kira has won." Gevanni said simply.

Near's eyes narrowed, waiting for an answer.

"You let him win. He took you down with him. Even when he has died, he still beats you," he said cruelly.

"That's why I'm too much of a shame to be L. That's why I have to fix my mistake and die," Near said with a rueful smile.

"No," Gevanni said in disbelief. "That's not what I meant!" he yelled.

"I know exactly what you meant, but anything you say will not change my mind, you should that know by now, we've been working together for too long for you not to know" he said softly.

"You're a coward, Near" Gevanni said in a failed attempt at reverse psychology.

"I _am _a coward, but I'm not stupid, I know what you're trying to do, please go now, _please,"_ he begged.

Gevanni growled in frustration, turning around so that his back faced Near. His shoulders shook in an irregular rhythm.

"Goodbye, Gevanni, I couldn't ask for a better friend," he said comfortingly.

Gevanni nodded and rushed to the door in sadness, anger and frustration.

People were still falling victims to the curse called Kira.

Near walked two steps forward and stood on the brink, again looking down to the ground hundreds of meters away.

_It's been so long_

He drew in a deep breath, a small, peaceful smile etched on his tired face and his eyes closed, and jumped off the building and into the air.

_I'll finally see them again…._

His face was greeted by violent blows of refreshing air, and with his whole body soaring, he felt like he was flying, like he was one with the wind.

It was ironic how he was lucky enough to fulfill his deepest wish right before dying.

_I'm finally coming back home…._

The end was coming close, and the ground was becoming clearer and clearer, and he waited happily for the breath to be knocked out of him.

Instead, he felt a pair of arms snake on his back and wrap themselves around his waist, and another two pairs gripping both his arms firmly.

Everything had stopped.

He found himself standing on thin air, traffic was petrified and no one was moving and he could feel a pair of light wings emerging from his back.

His eyes snapped open and he turned around to see the ghosts of the three people that made his life worthwhile.

_But, no, they couldn't be ghosts, I can feel their touch, they are far too real to be ghosts. Have they come back for me? _He thought frantically.

The three of them were pale, floating images of what they used to be, they looked like angels and they had a matching expression of soft, gentle reprimand.

_Is this a dream?_

He stared at them in wonder, trying to burn their images into his mind.

_Oh how he had missed them…_

The pale figure of the ebony-haired man put a comforting, reassuring hand on his shoulder with a soft, angelic smile on his face, while the redhead patted his back encouragingly, flashing him his famous smirk and the blonde had a gentle smile drawn on his face and gave him a brief hug.

Near's eyes widened dramatically at the close contact his nemesis gave him.

_I thought you hated me._

He thought he could hear a melodic voice saying quietly _"Never" _and the blonde shook his head, the gentle smile still in place.

The wind carried their faint voices only speaking one word

"_Live"_

And it sounded more like a plea than an order.

They gave him one last smile and a nod in a silent farewell, and let go of him, the next second, they were gone.

He landed perfectly and safely on the ground and everything was back to normal.

He looked around him and smiled sadly, yet gratefully and he heard a quiet whisper in his ear

"_Goodbye"_

_I'll be waiting for the time when I'm finally allowed to join you, until then, I'll be L and I will never fail you._

_I will defeat what's left of Kira._

_Until we meet again, L, Mello, Matt_

_Until then, goodbye….._

…...

**I hope you liked that one; I stayed up until 2:30 am writing it and when I finished it I passed out on the couch! It's not the best but I'm happy I was able to write something like that.**

**I made a few adjustments to it, because I thought a part of it was too rushed, I hope there was improvement.**

**Please review, it will mean a lot to me, and tell me if there is anything I could have done better.**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope it lived up to your expectations :)**


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